It was a little over a week after the party at Anhur. Isaac had been spending time off and on the ship, mostly off, because he wanted to be with Rachel. But he understood he couldn't always entertain or distract her and she did let him know she needed time by herself, be it to sleep or to simply be alone. Of course he understood, he needed time by himself too. Especially after the sessions with his psychiatrist. He couldn't be more thankful for Jenna being there for them; she was one of the few people he really trusted and who had stuck with him for so long and managed to keep professional distance well enough. It was a very admirable skill to have.
With the three sessions they'd now had with Jenna, he was convinced they would get over this. He had been shocked and disgusted by how much she had actually experienced due to Hawke's abuse. After that session, where everything had come out in the open, he had left quite soon after and got to the Sinner's Inn, the only place he knew he would be safe enough and got shit-faced. It had been a long time since he'd done that, but he just needed to forget everything for a moment- he knew Jenna would not approve, but he just didn't care.
His thoughts were all over the place then and he kept thinking back to the clip shown during the party; it was hard to distinguish the woman on the tape from Madelyn, in his mind. Then again, several years ago, there was no difference. She had gone through the exact same, if not worse. It was only there in the 'Inn that he realisized how guilty he felt for not finding that girl on the tape and getting her out of there- but he had little chance of doing that. He might have not been able to save Rachel and he couldn't bare that thought. He knew he couldn't be everyone's hero.
He had woken up the next morning, stretched over one of the booth's couches. Joe and the other personnel had left him alone, thankfully and he managed back to the ship, where he took some painkillers and a shower. He felt like shit and he knew it would take some time to get back to a point of sanity again. But he'd never been one to give up, he had too much to care for.
The conversation with Trevor and Ivy at the Warm Bodies stripclub on Massanas had actually been a breath of fresh air to him. It was cute to see how Ivy reacted to everything and he had needed to hold himself back from making too much remarks about it. He thought she'd held herself well- he was fully aware that she was in the same position as he had been with Hawke, but she wasn't in disguise like he had been. It was a confronting experience, he could see that, but she'd seen Trevor before, when she'd put up the article, before the court case. It was less recent now, but he could still feel her tension. Probably because she also knew she was walking on thin ice with Trevor- she was out of her league with anything that concerned senators, but she was getting better at it. He was actually pretty proud of how fierce she was in talking to Trevor and despite the man's 'apparent boredom', he could see he wasn't bored at all. Ivy did a fenomenal job in keeping them both interested.
His brain had started working too many hours again after that meeting and he had been very silent on their way back, just like Sidd had been in the last couple of days. He knew he had to talk to the man, but he didn't have the right state of mind yet. It would be time soon.
Later, they headed back to Hermes and the first thing he did was to visit Rachel. He told her about everything silently, in whispers as he laid next to her on bed- she was the only one he'd felt so comfortable with he could relax with her just being there. She had this energy he still couldn't explain, and she was his safe haven.
He decided to go back to the R.U. Sirius and start this conversation with Sidd he had been meaning to have for several days now. He was worried about him and slowly, he had begun to feel Sidd might know more than he was letting on. But he might be wrong- he just wanted to be sure. With two cups of coffee he walked inside and looked around.
The R.U. Sirius, a week after the party on Anhur
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Isaac
- Berichten: 173
- Lid geworden op: 10-02-2016 22:16
The R.U. Sirius, a week after the party on Anhur
Well it's too long living in the same old lives.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
-
Overseer
- Site Admin
- Berichten: 1000
- Lid geworden op: 08-07-2014 18:28
Sidd was sitting on one of the couches and was staring at the bottle of water in his hand. The dark shade under his eyes betrayed that he had been sleeping badly the last few days.
He hadn't complained at all about flying Isaac to where he needed to go, but the usual cocky attitude seemed to lack energy.
As he stared at the bottle in his hand, he let go of the bottle, and with a razor sharp reflex he stopped the bottle by it's cap using the tip of his fingers. A shiver went through his spine as he set the bottle back on the table.
Suddenly he noticed Isaac standing there with two cups of coffee and he looked like someone with a bad conscience. "Oh...hey Boss. How er~ how's Rach'?" His tone was startled and distracted as he quickly averted his gaze.
He hadn't complained at all about flying Isaac to where he needed to go, but the usual cocky attitude seemed to lack energy.
As he stared at the bottle in his hand, he let go of the bottle, and with a razor sharp reflex he stopped the bottle by it's cap using the tip of his fingers. A shiver went through his spine as he set the bottle back on the table.
Suddenly he noticed Isaac standing there with two cups of coffee and he looked like someone with a bad conscience. "Oh...hey Boss. How er~ how's Rach'?" His tone was startled and distracted as he quickly averted his gaze.
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Isaac
- Berichten: 173
- Lid geworden op: 10-02-2016 22:16
Were his reflexes that fast before? Something must be different. Else he wouldn't act like he had stolen a cookie out of the cookie jar.
All he had done was lift an eyebrow and smiled at Sidd as he looked over to him. He put the coffee on one of the side tables and sat down on the chair next to the couch.
"Rache's doing better every day," he let out a sigh, "'tis more the mental strain that makes it hard to survive such ordeals."
He frowned and stared at the cup of coffee in his hand for a moment before he looked back up at his friend.
"I know we both haven't been sleeping well lately," he started, suddenly, "we've been through too much shite to keep quiet, don't ye think?" He tilted his head and looked the pilot in the eye. He knew Sidd would understand what he was trying to say.
All he had done was lift an eyebrow and smiled at Sidd as he looked over to him. He put the coffee on one of the side tables and sat down on the chair next to the couch.
"Rache's doing better every day," he let out a sigh, "'tis more the mental strain that makes it hard to survive such ordeals."
He frowned and stared at the cup of coffee in his hand for a moment before he looked back up at his friend.
"I know we both haven't been sleeping well lately," he started, suddenly, "we've been through too much shite to keep quiet, don't ye think?" He tilted his head and looked the pilot in the eye. He knew Sidd would understand what he was trying to say.
Well it's too long living in the same old lives.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
-
Overseer
- Site Admin
- Berichten: 1000
- Lid geworden op: 08-07-2014 18:28
Sidd nodded and smiled slightly, being a little less awkward and clearly happy to hear Rachel was getting better.
When he noticed the look Isaac gave him he rolled his eyes and scraped his throat. "Well....I wouldn't bullshit you Boss....ever." He folded his arms defensively. "But like I didn't know I might become mutated because people don't tell me shit, I might keep things to myself as well. It's nothing personal though...." His tone first defensive, but at the end sincere.
"Like hell. Great that people seem to suddenly mutated and all that. And what is it that you do, huh? Since you said you are already mutated?!" He suddenly bit Isaac with a certain anger and sharpness he had never seen with Sidd.
When he noticed the look Isaac gave him he rolled his eyes and scraped his throat. "Well....I wouldn't bullshit you Boss....ever." He folded his arms defensively. "But like I didn't know I might become mutated because people don't tell me shit, I might keep things to myself as well. It's nothing personal though...." His tone first defensive, but at the end sincere.
"Like hell. Great that people seem to suddenly mutated and all that. And what is it that you do, huh? Since you said you are already mutated?!" He suddenly bit Isaac with a certain anger and sharpness he had never seen with Sidd.
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Isaac
- Berichten: 173
- Lid geworden op: 10-02-2016 22:16
Isaac remained calm, despite Sidd's sharp demeanor and said with disarming honesty: "I read people's minds. But on the other hand, if I don't pay enough attention other people can read mine as well. So it has very strong pros and cons to it."
He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, thinking about what to say. "I believe I figured it out when Nick was in Masannas with Irelia, back in the day. That same evening we saw a mutant pinned to the wall by his wings, probably done by one of the cults on Masannas. I was disgusted by it... but it was also a confrontation with why I think it's so important that everyone should respect them as equals."
His gaze wandered back to Sidd and he smiled. "I've never though mutations were strange or alien- then again, these ones are caused by alien artifacts, so they might be an exception to the whole concept.
Would it help if I tell you anything I can tell you, if you have questions at all?"
He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, thinking about what to say. "I believe I figured it out when Nick was in Masannas with Irelia, back in the day. That same evening we saw a mutant pinned to the wall by his wings, probably done by one of the cults on Masannas. I was disgusted by it... but it was also a confrontation with why I think it's so important that everyone should respect them as equals."
His gaze wandered back to Sidd and he smiled. "I've never though mutations were strange or alien- then again, these ones are caused by alien artifacts, so they might be an exception to the whole concept.
Would it help if I tell you anything I can tell you, if you have questions at all?"
Well it's too long living in the same old lives.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
-
Overseer
- Site Admin
- Berichten: 1000
- Lid geworden op: 08-07-2014 18:28
Sidd threw his arms up in a frustrated gesture.
"OH! So he can read minds. That's just great. Jup feel much better now.
Let's start with....WHAT THE FUCK?!" He sounded maniacal and he took off his sunglasses, it was clear that he was crying.
"How the FUCK am I supposed to live like this?!" He squinted his eyes and there were tears in his eyes. It was clear that he was emotionally stressed and he had been keeping it in until now. Sidd hardly ever showed any full emotions, but now it seemed he had reached his breaking point.
"This isn't living....." He sobbed as he hid his face in his hands, not paying attention to Isaac at all anymore.
"OH! So he can read minds. That's just great. Jup feel much better now.
Let's start with....WHAT THE FUCK?!" He sounded maniacal and he took off his sunglasses, it was clear that he was crying.
"How the FUCK am I supposed to live like this?!" He squinted his eyes and there were tears in his eyes. It was clear that he was emotionally stressed and he had been keeping it in until now. Sidd hardly ever showed any full emotions, but now it seemed he had reached his breaking point.
"This isn't living....." He sobbed as he hid his face in his hands, not paying attention to Isaac at all anymore.
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Isaac
- Berichten: 173
- Lid geworden op: 10-02-2016 22:16
It was difficult for him not to stand up and walk over to his friend to give him a hug. He was one of the few that had stuck with him for so long and through all the shit he'd been going through. He knew, however, that this was probably not the right time to do so.
"I don't know what to say to that," he admitted, after a moment of silence, "apart from that I know that you can live with it. Louis has an electrical current going through his body that focusses on everything he touches when he's stressed, imagine how that would be while being with his woman. Ivy can see through things- literally, every single layer or crust of earth we're standing on, I'd imagine it would feel like constantly falling through the world. You remember Ben being able to use telekinesis and throwing things through the studio back in the day if he wasn't careful. You know what Trevor can do."
He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "It's a skill, a talent that you can master. I want to help you, but just know that this isn't the end of everything. I get it, it's tough, it's a load of shit. You have all the right to be angry. We could've told you the risks."
"I don't know what to say to that," he admitted, after a moment of silence, "apart from that I know that you can live with it. Louis has an electrical current going through his body that focusses on everything he touches when he's stressed, imagine how that would be while being with his woman. Ivy can see through things- literally, every single layer or crust of earth we're standing on, I'd imagine it would feel like constantly falling through the world. You remember Ben being able to use telekinesis and throwing things through the studio back in the day if he wasn't careful. You know what Trevor can do."
He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "It's a skill, a talent that you can master. I want to help you, but just know that this isn't the end of everything. I get it, it's tough, it's a load of shit. You have all the right to be angry. We could've told you the risks."
Well it's too long living in the same old lives.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
-
Overseer
- Site Admin
- Berichten: 1000
- Lid geworden op: 08-07-2014 18:28
After a moment where in Sidd had let himself go he rubbed the tears from his eyes angrily.
"Damn right I'm angry." He said with a soft tone of voice. Blinking his eyes before he looked Isaac in the eye.
"I've helped you out, always. I always stood by you and the others without thinking of myself. There had been plenty of other things I could have done or jobs to take, ways to make money. But I choose to help you out." He took a deep breath.
"And now? Now it goes to show how fucking stupid it is for me to think I would be trusted. Great just great. You can read minds. Probably control that, right?!" His tone became angry again and he stood up, hitting the bottle with his arm and then, like he had done before, catch it with incredible reflex.
When he did he placed his face in his free hand as if he had a headache.
"I SEE EVERYTHING! IT DOESN'T STOP!" He screamed out of frustration.
His breath was ragged and there was a vein in his neck that was dangerously swollen.
"Everything that might happen next, everything that happens now right here. I don't know what now means...the present doesn't exist. It's just choices in the chaos that form reality." He mumbled, but loud enough for Isaac to hear him.
"Damn right I'm angry." He said with a soft tone of voice. Blinking his eyes before he looked Isaac in the eye.
"I've helped you out, always. I always stood by you and the others without thinking of myself. There had been plenty of other things I could have done or jobs to take, ways to make money. But I choose to help you out." He took a deep breath.
"And now? Now it goes to show how fucking stupid it is for me to think I would be trusted. Great just great. You can read minds. Probably control that, right?!" His tone became angry again and he stood up, hitting the bottle with his arm and then, like he had done before, catch it with incredible reflex.
When he did he placed his face in his free hand as if he had a headache.
"I SEE EVERYTHING! IT DOESN'T STOP!" He screamed out of frustration.
His breath was ragged and there was a vein in his neck that was dangerously swollen.
"Everything that might happen next, everything that happens now right here. I don't know what now means...the present doesn't exist. It's just choices in the chaos that form reality." He mumbled, but loud enough for Isaac to hear him.
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Isaac
- Berichten: 173
- Lid geworden op: 10-02-2016 22:16
He was growing too worried for his own liking. When Sidd started to mumble in himself, he stood up, put his coffee down and pushed the sidetable away, so he could sit in front of Sidd and held his head in between his hands.
"Sidd, listen to me," he said, with a calm, but very determined tone of voice, trying to get his attention as best as he could, "I'm here for you, do you understand? I've gotten you of of the Kiowan base, first thing after I got out of prison and was healthy enough to get away from the hospital after my surgeries. I'd do it again, every single time I'd need to get you out of shit."
He clenched his jaw, having a hard time to stay calm. He didn't want his closest friends to lose their mind, when he was losing his. If they'd all lose their minds they'd be fucked. They needed each other in this. Badly.
He moved his hands to Sidd's shoulders, the knot in his stomach getting tighter. "I'm not leaving you alone in this. I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not. You're like a brother to me, man." His voice broke over the last sentence and his eyes teared up.
"Sidd, listen to me," he said, with a calm, but very determined tone of voice, trying to get his attention as best as he could, "I'm here for you, do you understand? I've gotten you of of the Kiowan base, first thing after I got out of prison and was healthy enough to get away from the hospital after my surgeries. I'd do it again, every single time I'd need to get you out of shit."
He clenched his jaw, having a hard time to stay calm. He didn't want his closest friends to lose their mind, when he was losing his. If they'd all lose their minds they'd be fucked. They needed each other in this. Badly.
He moved his hands to Sidd's shoulders, the knot in his stomach getting tighter. "I'm not leaving you alone in this. I'm going to help you, whether you like it or not. You're like a brother to me, man." His voice broke over the last sentence and his eyes teared up.
Well it's too long living in the same old lives.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
I feel too cold to live, too young to die.
Will you walk the line, like it's there to choose?
Just forget the wit, it's the best to use.
-
Overseer
- Site Admin
- Berichten: 1000
- Lid geworden op: 08-07-2014 18:28
Tears freely flowed now that Isaac held Sidd's head.
"I~i know man......I just...fuck......." he shivered for a moment and then took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
"My brain's in overdrive....all the fucking time. I see all the choices in front if me. When I choose, it already happened. I am constantly living in the future." his breath became more stable now, although he only mumbled softly.
"It drives me insane...." he lifted his head and showed the desperation he felt in his expression.
"I tried...I really tried. I'm so sorry man. I know you didn't have to help me. You're the only real friend I have..."
"I~i know man......I just...fuck......." he shivered for a moment and then took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
"My brain's in overdrive....all the fucking time. I see all the choices in front if me. When I choose, it already happened. I am constantly living in the future." his breath became more stable now, although he only mumbled softly.
"It drives me insane...." he lifted his head and showed the desperation he felt in his expression.
"I tried...I really tried. I'm so sorry man. I know you didn't have to help me. You're the only real friend I have..."